The last few days have been great and Gardner and I have really felt like we are rocking it. We know how to order coffee, we have learned the pertinent bus routes and how to board with the strollers. The kids have been great, we have all been sleeping well and just generally feeling like a part of Paris. But as soon as you feel like you have it all figured out, something new comes up and reminds us, we are in fact in a foreign land, and we don't know all of the "rules".
One thing that has been a surprise for us, is that attitude the french have about children. As Americans, we take our kids everywhere. The French by contrast take their children nowhere. That is of course a gross over-generalization on both accounts. This was all to clear the other night when we went out to dinner. It was a little late. (We sat down at 7pm - early by French standards). When we arrived at our selected restaurant, housed in the oldest still standing home in Paris (built in 1400), there where no other dinners. Perfect, we though, no one to disturb. However as we schelpped in our two strollers and 5,000 bags from the day and got settled, we really looked around and noticed white table cloths and a candlelight and realized we might be in a bit over our heads, or at least our children's heads. Before we had ordered the restaurant had filled. Our children are generally very good in a restaurant, but I was nervous. I hate the idea of my rowdy kids interrupting someone else. S was pretty good. Didn't touch a bite of his food. In fact he screamed "I DON'T LIKE IT!" at a particularly quite moment. But all in all he played the iPad quietly. E of the other hand was not having it. He would not stay in his seat, threw everything he touched on the floor and was generally fussy. And the meal took forever. So long that by the end, Gardner and I were wondering if the waitstaff was trying to intentionally torture us. We had a dialog made-up about how they were so annoyed that we had dared bring our children to their semi-fancy restaurant. Then as we were leaving Gardner accidentally dropped the stroller down the stairs spilling everything out. How embarrassing. Then our waiter, who rushed to help him clean, turned to him, and said "I hope we have done everything we could to make your evening pleasant. I can see how hard it is to enjoy yourself with children. We tired to give you as much time as possible". So that's why is took like an hour to get our plat (main dish)! We assumed they were being jerks, and they were trying to allow us extra time, and not rush us.
Another thing that has happened on many, many occasion is people helping us with our stroller down the stairs. I mean, all the time. Random strangers will stop and just pick up the bottom and help us carry it. It really takes a village, that is the attitude. Yesterday a shop keeper gave our boys each a little Eiffel Tower key chain. Just to be nice. Made the kids day! They spent all day playing with and trading back and forth their little key chains.
In an unsettling trend, many people have tried to pick S up. I would never, ever pick-up a child I didn't know with out asking the parents permission. But several times we have been struggling down a staircase caring a stroller while holding the baby and trying to hold S's hand, and someone just comes by and picks him up. The first time it happened was at the Louvre. A man was helping Gardner carry a stroller down the stairs and I was holding E and trying to get S to walk while holding my free hand and this woman just came by and picked S up! No, No, No I was yelling while chasing her down the stairs. She gave me a strange look, put him down said something in German and walked away. She was the wife of the man helping Gardner. It happens a lot. It makes me uncomfortable. I realize that people are just trying to help, but I am not comfortable with a stranger carrying my baby (even if is is 3) away from me. Today a man on the Metro did it. I let him, although I never let go of his hand the whole way down the stairs.
There are differences here. The culture goes beyond the language, the currency, the food. It is deeper. It's the way they raise their children. The "it takes a village" mindset. I like it. I'm working on getting used to it. I hope when I come home, I will be a person who offers to help more, and avoids strangers less. If we hadn't brought our children to France, these are things we never would have learned. We are learning everyday.
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